Photo: Astrid Loch
In her second blog forPEOPLE,Loch shares her pregnancy journey so far and how she’s adjusted with her body along the way.
Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA since announcing we’re pregnant. Growing a tiny human really takes it out of you, andafter the road it took to get hereKevin and I have been soaking up every single moment, and sometimes that also means you have to disconnect a bit.
If youread my last blogorfollow me on social mediayou’re well aware of how difficult it was for Kevin and I to conceive. There’s a reason women who go through in-vitro fertilization call themselves IVF warriors: Your mind and body are fighting an uphill battle every day for weeks, months and sometimes years. The injections are unpleasant and sometimes painful, your body bloats like crazy, you get hot flashes, and your mood swings can be so intense that there were moments I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience because it seemed like I couldn’t control my emotions.
I would imagine that for most women, getting that positive pregnancy test is an instant relief that leaves you on cloud nine for weeks, but for me that “high” didn’t last very long as my mind immediately began to worry about what else could go wrong.
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Astrid Loch
My first 12 weeks of pregnancy consisted of weekly bloodwork and ultrasounds, strong prenatal vitamins that left me nauseous the majority of the day, and daily progesterone oil shots that were not only painful but also left me with welts, bruising and numbness that I can still feel to this day.
Anyone who’s been pregnant before knows the first trimester is no walk in the park to begin with. You’re quite literally drained of all of your energy, everything you ever loved to eat now makes you sick, and you can’t sleep through the night because you’re constantly having to pee.
So yeah, I think I’ll call myself a warrior as well.
It’s been a weird feeling, though, seeing my body change. For as long as I can remember, much like most women from my generation, I’ve been hyper-aware of my body image. As I’ve grown older I’ve worked hard to change my thinking and now focus on being healthy rather than skinny. But even with that changed mindset, seeing my body grow felt almost triggering at times.
Nevertheless, this was a great reminder of how fragile self-love and confidence can be and something I’ll continue to actively work on, because if we’re having a girl this fall I’d never want her to pick up any of these unhealthy notions from me.
Astrid Loch, Kevin Wendt.Paul Hebert via Getty
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I think what’s shocked me the most throughout all this is just how quickly your maternal instincts kick in. Even though my belly has barely popped and I haven’t felt any flutter or kicks yet, my mind is constantly with our little one. Things that used to bother me or put me in a bad mood go completely unnoticed now. My patience has already grown so much as I realize everything I do or feel will affect my child now, so why add unnecessary stress to my day?
I can say the same for my relationship as well. Knowing we’re going to be parents together has brought Kevin and I much closer, which I didn’t think was possible after everything we had to go through to get here. Like all couples, we still have our moments, but the stakes are different now. We’re a family, and there’s nothing more important than that.
See guys, told you my maternal instincts have kicked in.
source: people.com
