receive back to “ Katharine remembers the good and bad about Star Wars link - in novel of the ‘ 90s . ” We have coveredmy favorites , theworst Holy Scripture to actually weigh , and proof that Luke Skywalker is theworst teacherever . And now Darksaber . shoulder strap in , this one ’s even rough than you remember .
Yes , the book is over 20 years old . But someone somewhere still might want to experience it sweet . I do n’t urge this , since I still have some sort of empathy for people , but still .
What make Darksaber so regretful ? The answer to this question is complicated , mainly because there are so many reasons . One of those reason is that Kevin J. Anderson has an dependance to hilariously complex plots . Another of those reasons is that it ’s the second book in “ the Callista trilogy , ” Callista being one of many mass doom to be Luke Skywalker ’s honey interest . Yet another is that the regal plot involves Admiral Daala , a character that forces you to guess about Grand Moff Tarkin get sex .
But principally , what I hate most about Darksaber is the Hutt plot . Everyone writing material for Star Wars really wants to talk about Hutts because they ’re Star Wars ’ gangsters . But they are also — follow me here — giant slugs . So while they ’re gross and can be major problems for the Cuban sandwich , they do n’t really strike lasting fear .
Darksaber compounds all of that by build its unsound guy cable Durga the Hutt , who is a homicidal idiot . We literally meet him for the first time in this book as he electrocute someone on the bridge of his ship . His whole bridgework is basically a serial publication of electric chairs . Do n’t work for Durga .
I do n’t experience why anyone would work for him . It ’s not like the Empire where loyalty and political orientation played a role . You ’d have to be so heroic for a job to end up in Durga ’s employ .
So , when we fill Durga he ’s an retard , but then we have to spend the relaxation of the book believing he ’s manage to outwit the New Republic . He kills Crix Madine . Madine was n’t an essential fictitious character , but one of the generals from Return of the Jedi dies at the hands of a screeching , clumsy Hutt . It ’s so sticky , for him and for us .
Durga ’s plan is to salve a gang of information that Jabba had — necessitating that we spend the beginning of this book with Han and Luke hush-hush as Sand People , which is another effigy that makes me weep — in social club to build himself a Death Star .
To that remnant , he manage to steal the plans for the Death Star out from under the New Republic . He ’s literally in a meeting with Han and Leia when this happens and he does it by allying himself with a bunch of furred aliens who look like pets but are actually a hive mind who have made a deal with Durga . Do n’t make deals with Durga .
In addition to the plans he ’s steal , he also has Bevel Lemelisk — a self-colored seven on the scurf of farcical Star Wars names — the technologist who helped build the Death Star . Lemelisk has a few issue , mainly owing to the fact that the Emperor tortured him a mickle .
Actually , Lemelisk is my preferent matter about this book . Not because it ’s skillful , mind you , but because he ’s hilarious . You see , after the first Death Star was blown up by “ a exclusive ten - wing pilot , ” the Emperor kills Lemelisk . Well , actually , first Lemelisk walk into the Emperor ’s throne room and a batting cage drop on him from the ceiling like it ’s a freaking Saturday sunrise sketch and the Emperor is Skeletor or some shit . And then this substitution happens :
“ Is there something further you like to discuss with me ? Another project perhaps ? Anything else I cand do for you ? ” Lemelisk swallow again .
“ Yes , my servant , ” Palpatine enunciate . “ You may die for me . ”
“ Uh — ” Lemelisk could call back of nothing else to say . “ I was go for for something else , really , ” he said stupidly .
“ He say doltishly ” should be the tagline for this book .
So the Emperor , who is less of a Sith Lord here and more of a Bond villain , liberate a crew of insects into Lemelisk ’s cage and the engineer is sliced to death . Then the Emperor puts his nous back into a younger clone so he can establish him another Death Star . This is a skill the Emperor apparently stole from a Jedi who was “ reluctant to give me thorough pedagogy . ”
It ’s so stupid . It ’s so unintelligent , I sleep with it . It ’s kind of exactly how the Emperor is in the prequels : so over the top you have to value it in a wasteland of good thing . He even warns Lemelisk he does n’t want to have to think up another manner to pour down him !
On the other side of the scale , we have Durga , who drive Lemelisk to work up him essentially just the optical maser part of the Death Star , which he called “ Darksaber ” because … it ’s a piston chamber . And they ’re malign . I hate this book and these people and I ’m glad the matter was made with shitty craftsmanship and was destroyed when it was hit by asteroid .
YES . You take that right , this whole fucking threat was end not by the heroism of the New Republic , but because it sucked and was crushed by asteroid . I ’m so happy I had to register the whole script for that . And , again , that Crix Madine go trying to detect out about that thing .
Meanwhile , Luke is taking Callista on a “ greatest hits of Star Wars ” trip because his girlfriend ca n’t use the Force anymore . Callista was a Jedi during the Clone Wars , whose cognizance ended up in a computer where she first fall in beloved with Luke . Then it ended up in the body of one of Luke ’s student who snuff it ( most of Luke ’s bookman die or twist to the Dark Side , include the decease of one in this book ) but the transference think she lost her Force index .
Which , I get is bad . But she is also alive . Be felicitous to not be utter . Also , do n’t date Luke . Luke ’s erotic love interest group all terminate up bushed , evil , demented , or some combination thereof . Do n’t date Luke or become his student . Callista is a love interest in the organic structure of one of his student . She does n’t support a chance .
Luke travels to Tatooine and then he and Callista go to Dagobah and Hoth , because those are major planet in the movies — and finally they get a line that Callista can only use the Dark Side of the Force , because … intellect ? They are round everywhere they go , by the way . bat on Dagobah and Wampas on Hoth . When Callista eventually leaves Luke she she ’s it ’s so she can find herself , but I call back it ’s more out of self - preservation .
And in the third plot — yes , this Quran has three major plot — Admiral Daala is trying to reunite what ’s left of the Empire . This is a pointless part of the book , only notable in that Daala put to work with Palleaon , cue the reader of much honorable Star Wars record book they could be reading .
Darksaber is just a pickle . It is , I will grant it , a screaming mess . It has all of Anderson ’s Graeco-Roman Star Wars writing in it — include a reliance on recycling places and lines from the movies for authenticity . When a book starts with Luke stress to summon Obi - Wan Kenobi by saying , “ Help me Obi - Wan Kenobi , you ’re my only promise , ” and end with him saying , “ There is a heap of time in the universe , and we ’ll be together in meter , you and I , Callista , ” you have to give up on Luke for a bit .
Darksaber ’s important lessons are : Do n’t work for Hutts , particularly Durga . Do n’t let Luke be your teacher . Do n’t ever fall in honey with him . Down all those roads lead death and rabidity .
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