WhetherBattleshipis a ace success or super loser , a thundering battalion of movies based on panel games is demonstrate toward a theatre near you . At the very least , I think you should be prepared .
1. Candy Land
Once upon a time , a toy company desperately desire to make a movie about a journey through a earth of confect based on a table biz feature a journey through a land of candy .
dead no one get unrestrained about this . So they hired screenwriters Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger , the duo behindAlvin and the Chipmunks : The Squeakquel . This composition team envisioned an larger-than-life tale in a vast and foreboding world of butterscotch waterfalls and licorice trees . As Berger toldEntertainment Weekly , they sawCandy Landas “ Lord of The Rings , but limit in a world of confect . ” And while the “ WTF ? ” quotient of that command could break even the most sturdily made “ WTF?”-ometer , I was looking forrard to Gollum hunt after his “ precious ” Ring Pop .
Still , America was not on board . After year in development hell , Universal , which held the rights , actually paid $ 5 million to get disembarrass ofCandy Land .
Then came the mellisonant , simoleons - coated legerdemain . Sony peck up the rein and suddenly Adam Sandler was attached to virtuoso . Sandler brought along crony Robert Smigel ( Almighty of the Ambiguously Gay Duo and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ) to write the screenplay . gestate gay - panic put-on , an interminable supply of break wind gum drop , a running gag with someone getting repeated hit in the mole with a jumbo lollypop , and family fun for all !
2. Ouija Board: The Movie
Remember how I said Universal had to pay up to not makeCandy Land ? Well , back in 2008 , just a year after the success of Hasbro’sTransformersmovie , Universal discover a stack with Hasbro to make five flick base on Hasbro circuit card game and miniature : Ouija , Stretch Armstrong , Clue , Candy LandandBattleship . Four years later , Universal only made one movie and wanted to dump the rest ( the fact this happened so airless toBattleship ’s release is more than a tad foreboding ) . To get out of the trade , Universal had to pay Hasbro a report $ 5 million for each movie not made . That ’s pretty do-or-die . And yet , some projects have survived .
Ouija Boardstarted as a $ 100 million supernatural , haunted house affair with director McG ( Charlie ’s Angels ) at the helm . Michael Bay came on board as a producer to , well , Bay - ify it , presumably . The production hired writer David Berenbaum , who wrote the Eddie Murphy vehicleThe Haunted Mansion , to draft a screenplay .
With Universal abandoning them like an undesirable puppy , the fate ofOuija Boardlooked grim even for a film about dead multitude .
But like a temperamental buff with raging mood swings , Universal suddenly change its mind and wantedOuijaback ( even after paying zillion to make it go away ) . The romance rekindled , Universal made but one request ofOuija : cut the $ 100 million budget .
To $ 5 million .
To put that in perspective , that ’s about the same budget as a Lifetime Movie of the Week . $ 5 mil would just cover Michael Bay ’s Axe Body Spray budget .
On that budget , expectOuija Board : The Movieto be two time of day of citizenry play with a Ouija Board in real sentence , flummox in fights about someone moving the piece on purpose , taking frequent bathroom breaks , and spending the last hour watchingJersey Shorereruns because it ’s scientifically insufferable to wrench any more than fifteen minutes of fun out of wreak with aOuija Board .
3. Monopoly
Of the upcoming display panel plot film , Monopolytakes the cake for the most challenging . The man who want to bringMonopolyto life is none other than Oscar - nominated tiptop theater director Ridley Scott . Yes , the gentleman’s gentleman behindAlienandBlade Runnerwants to bring you the plot with the thimble … but with gravitas .
Originally , screenwriters and producers sawMonopolyas the news report of a humanity transported to a candy - dark-skinned populace fill with rainbow - colored money . Then Scott stepped in and said , “ Nope , this is going to be about the fiscal crisis . ” Yes , a family fun board biz movie about the sub - prime mortgage nuclear meltdown .
How deep would the film turn over into the trapping crisis ? “ Completely , " Scott say . " It ’s a roue bathroom . It was really bad behavior . It ’s [ going to be ] a comedy . ”
A very funny blood tub . So far , so good .
To be fair , the themes absolutely intertwine . Monopolyis all about buying up as many toy properties as you’re able to with feign money . The economical housing market implosion was all about people grease one’s palms up as many genuine properties they could , like they were buying miniature , using pretend money they did n’t have . And though Universal has passed onMonopoly , Scott is committed .
“ I wanted to just make a moving-picture show about the idea of greed , " he told ComingSoon.net . " I told them you know your game can turn your sweetest , dearest aunty into a demon – a nightmare of greed . So that ’s what we ’re going to do . ”
So the director of two of the drear sci - fi movies of all prison term need to transform a silly plank game into a dark , “ bloody ” sarcasm on the greed and avarice behind the housing debacle ? Actually , I totally require to see this . * * * There ’s also a newCluemovie in the works . Are there any instrument panel games you ’d care to see on the big screen ?
Cole Gamble explores the opening of contract his own cinema project , Jenga ! , on Twitter@ColeGamble .
